So here’s the thing, every time I try to move away from Facebook messenger I run into the same problem, nobody else in my friends or family actually want to use a secure, private messenger app like signal or telegram, my wife, my parents, my in-laws, my friends they’re ALL on Facebook and they will never take signal seriously enough to actually use it, it really bums me out that there are these far superior options but without anyone else using them they’re pointless…

Anyway what apps do you use to stay in touch with people?

  • ddnomad@infosec.pub
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    1 year ago

    Mandatory “don’t put Signal and Telegram in the same sentence” notice. Not to be a snob, but Telegram is not “secure and private”, all chats are not end-to-end encrypted by default, everything is stored on Telegram’s servers with “forever-ever” retention. The end-to-end encryption is opt in, uses a dodgy encryption algorithm and has some limitations in terms of who you can contact and from what device etc.

    Telegram is owned by Pavel Durov who also created the largest Russian social media platform VK, which later was overtaken by Russian state as a tool for crowd control and propaganda. Even if we assume that Pavel no longer has any ties with Russia and its “government”, his biography should still raise at least some questions around whether one should trust Telegram.

    And finally, Telegram seems to be going the “everything app” route lately, which makes it a one stop shop of personal communication, public channels, news, bots, stories etc. (you name it). While it is not a bad thing in objective terms, these features are not built with privacy in mind, as that would pose quite a technical challenge. This means that Telegram’s privacy and security will only be sacrificed more and more to get more of the social features out of the door.

    /rant over/

    • krash@lemmy.ml
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      1 year ago

      I agree with every point. The last paragraph doesn’t have to be a problem though: telegram has very open and really nice APIs and enjoys a lot of FOSS 3rd party apps (only matched by matrix). Of course, we can only enjoy that as long the API usage is still free to use…

      • ddnomad@infosec.pub
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        1 year ago

        The last paragraph doesn’t have to be a problem though

        It is not yet, but the trajectory implies it may become a problem down the road. We’re, sadly, living this decade, where you can no longer ignore where a certain service is heading and how it monetises itself.

    • Varcour@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      I like to give Pavel the benefit of the doubt and assume he was not a willing participant when Russia took over VK. That said, it still happened, so what is to stop them from taking over Telegram too whether he is complicit or not?

  • PreciousDeclaration@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    My preference is Signal Private Messenger app, but like you, I have problems getting some friends and family to use it. So for the ones that won’t, I just use Chomp SMS for my texting app.

    • Obra@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      The trick is, 90% of all your messages are probably with the same 1-3 persons. (spouse, friend, family or whatever.)

      So just install the Signal app for these 1-3 persons on their phones, and you already have most of your communication going via Signal 👌🏼

      • dragnucs@lemmy.ml
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        1 year ago

        The 20-80 rules applies here. Anyway, that is a strategy that works for me too. The rest would be SMS. Sending files is links to my self hosted nextcloud.

      • NotSpez@lemm.ee
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        1 year ago

        That’s exactly how I do it. No way you can get your whole work group conversation over to something else, but the bulk is a smaller circle.

    • Pechente@feddit.de
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      1 year ago

      My issue with signal is that their desktop app sucks. No message sync, it needs the phone as a relay and it’s made with Electron.

      • brzrd@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Signal desktop is designed to be a stand alone app that uses the phone phone to first verify the connection via QR but after that relays messages, calls, erc direct from and to the server, inrependently of the phone app.

    • Auskeek@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Yeah I work on a similar system

      WhatsApp in general Telegram for the wife Signal for the wife whilst one of us is working (with notifications on silent)

      SMS for everything else.

      It’s nice having things compartmentalized.

        • hedgehog@ttrpg.network
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          1 year ago

          Presumably because they want a higher degree of privacy / urgency when talking about their plans or the intimate details of their lives, sharing selfies or pics of the kids, fighting, flirting / sexting, and when sharing nudes, but OP doesn’t care about that higher degree of privacy for their friends who they don’t discuss those things with.

          And the reason to have a separate app for work safe conversations only with her makes sense since it allows conversations to be nsfw without any extra worry (e.g., will I accidentally open this later when not at work? What if I think you’re off work already but you had to stay late to have a conversation with your boss?) or hassle.

          And only having one app for everything else could be because he doesn’t have nsfw conversations there and thus can safely check them at work or because he doesn’t have important conversations there and thus doesn’t need to check them while at work. Or both.

          • brzrd@lemmy.world
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            1 year ago

            Agreed. May best to get family and close friends on Signal right away. Telegram is horribly unsecure.

  • TheEntity@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    It might not work for everyone, but my general advice is to go cold turkey. Inform your relatives that from now on they can contact you on Signal and then stop using FB. If they value keeping in touch with you, they will follow.

    • CoggyMcFee@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Meanwhile the relatives are potentially thinking “well I guess he doesn’t value keeping in touch with me”.

      • Mubelotix@jlai.lu
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        1 year ago

        Yes but they would be wrong. Because they would be asking you to sacrifice your privacy for them, while you are only asking them for 30MB on their phones to install Signal

      • TheEntity@kbin.social
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        1 year ago

        That’s exactly my point: let’s invert the scenario as there is no reason why we should be the ones compromising. The only objective difference is the privacy of the chosen application. Even if this would be equal too, we have just a much right to demand a specific protocol as they do.

    • BackStabbath@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      I could never do that lol. I barely care enough to talk to people and even I’d feel a little alone/I don’t like inconveniencing people. I do use Telegram for some people, but Signal is just used by nobody I know.

  • LucidDaemon@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I use Signal, Element (Matrix), built in SMS with grapheneOS, and I self host MatterMost.

    I tried Threema, but getting people to move was more difficult than Signal

  • paulcdb@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    Just another reason to not have friends. No need to worry about messages and people getting funny because you 😱 reply to them straight away! 😎

    Is it wrong to only miss not having friends when I need a hand lifting up something? 😳 I really need to buy a remote controlled crane! 🤔

    • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 year ago

      I’d put iMessage above WhatsApp, as long as it’s iMessage to iMessage.

      Signal is wonderful.

  • sicjoke@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    My choice of app is entirely based on what the contact uses.

    Most of my family are on iOS so we use native iMessage and FaceTime.

    I have a small group of friends that almost exclusively use discord.

    Older non-iOS friends tend to use WhatsApp, younger ones Telegram.

  • shrugal@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Signal if possible, WhatsApp if not. I’m also trying out Session, but it’s still very much work-in-progress.

  • livus@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    Whatsapp for the people I can’t get to move to Signal, which sadly is everyone in my family. I hate having the zuck all up in my messaging though.

  • cwagner@lemmy.cwagner.me
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    1 year ago
    • Signal (most friends and family)
    • WhatsApp (exactly the same group plus a small handful WA-only people)
    • XMPP (literally just my wife and I totally didn’t make her use it)
  • David Palmer@lemmy.nz
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    1 year ago

    Signal. I bullied everyone I know into using it and deleted my Facebook account, so they have no other option for contacting me.