I head up a small community for fans of a niche indie brand. The founder is doing an event in Japan with an exclusive item for people who attend! I was so excited and was looking into booking a plane ticket to go!

However… turns out that Japan has a law that absolutely forbids stimulant medication in the country. And, no, I don’t really want to upend my regimen of 8 years and risk going on a new medication for the trip.

I’m really shattered, as I wanted to attend this cool event and meet up with other enthusiasts. It really hurts to be barred from an opportunity like this.

I hate ADHD. I really do.

    • fireweed@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      I’ve been told that if you can get a transfer there you need to understand that you’ll only ever hang out with other westerners because the culture is impenetrable.

      I’ve lived in Japan and that’s completely untrue. Sure lots of westerners have this experience, but it’s usually for one of three reasons:

      1. Language barrier: if you don’t speak Japanese, obviously you’re not going to fully integrate. However English is a required subject in schools, and while many Japanese are hesitant to speak it (mostly out of embarrassment over mistakes) there are plenty who are eager to utilize what they’ve learned. And this doesn’t even include Japanese who’ve lived abroad and are properly fluent and comfortable in the language (there aren’t many, but they certainly exist). Learning even a little Japanese and appearing to make an effort will also open a lot of doors.

      2. Self-segregation: It’s easy to fall into this one, especially because of point 1. But if you make an effort to make friends with people who are Japanese, they’ll introduce you to their friend group. This works best if your co-workers are mixed westerners and English-speaking Japanese, but with some searching you should be able to find mixed socialization opportunities outside of work too. Plus there are non-Western communities in Japan too: folks from other Asian or Latin American countries who also feel like outsiders. Of the foreigner friends I had in Japan, almost none were American (and almost none were native English speakers, although they were all fluent or close to it). Taking Japanese language classes is a great way to meet these folks, but each school is going to be very different in their demographic populations so be choosey and avoid any that seem too homogenous (eg all Chinese students).

      3. Expectations: Japanese social culture is very different. It’s easy to make acquaintances and hard to make friends. And yes, even if you speak Japanese fluently as a foreigner you will find it more difficult to make friends with the average Japanese person. However you have two strengths you need to utilize: curiosity and otherness. As long as you appear approachable, strangers will sporadically come up to you and talk with you out of curiosity. Sometimes the socialization ends there, and that’s fine. But look for the outsiders: Japanese people who don’t feel like they fit into Japanese society. I found that there were a good number of English-speaking Japanese who wanted to be my friend because they struggled to make friends with other Japanese. Some of them were socially awkward or autistic, some had lived abroad, and some seemed totally normal. The good news is you probably have a lot in common, even if it’s superficial like enjoying the same Western culture (TV shows, etc; think reverse-weeabo), but it’s enough for the foundation of a friendship. However you’ll need to accept that you’re now a member of a misfits social group, because you’re yourself a stranger in a strange land!

      So in conclusion, it’s very easy to fall into the only-socializing-with-Westerners trap, but it’s certainly not inevitable. It takes conscious effort to avoid, but is completely feasible, especially for someone who has interest in Japan/Japanese culture/Japanese language.

                  • TranscendentalEmpire@lemm.ee
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                    9 months ago

                    You want to be right, and read what you want

                    No, I’m Korean and still have family members who experienced first hand the horrors of ethnic conflict brought to them by the government of Japan. The types of crimes that the Japanese government still denies and still attempts to white wash out of history.

                    Maybe actually pick up a history book about the topic some time? Or, maybe try reading about the history of Japan somewhere other than a manga?

                  • TranscendentalEmpire@lemm.ee
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                    9 months ago

                    The guy I answered to talked about “imperial fascism”, are you gonna argue that it doesn’t entail racism ?

                    Are you denying that the imperial Japanese government wasn’t committing crimes against humanity based on the ideology of ethnic supremacy?

                    I wasn’t conflating xenophobia with willing racism, I was explaining where the xenophobia hailed from, by confronting your claim that this xenophobia was a result of an often misunderstood span of isolationist tendencies.

                    A debate isn’t a conflict originally, that’s a very US thing. A debate is supposed to be point of views exposed from both sides, so each can learn from the other.

                    Maybe between two people educated on the topic… There’s no common ground when one person is just making shit up and not providing any supporting evidence.

                  • TranscendentalEmpire@lemm.ee
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                    9 months ago

                    You can’t correct people without attempting to prove they are wrong…

                    Correcting someone (aka rebutting a claim) automatically means you are engaged in Discourse (aka debate).

                    If you don’t want to be involved in discourse, then don’t make claims. If you want to make claims, don’t be surprised when people disagree with them and offer rebuttals.

                  • Lhianna@feddit.de
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                    9 months ago

                    Or, and I know it sounds like a crazy concept, you could go and learn something about Japanese culture and/or autism that’s not just stereotypes. That might actually do you some good.

          • bionicjoey@lemmy.ca
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            9 months ago

            There are many better words you could use. Insular, isolationist, xenophobic. Not to mention that I’ve never once heard Japan’s culture described as “autistic”

            • prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works
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              9 months ago

              They’re making it up. Which is why they can assert “they” say it but then calls folks dumb for not being able to find it.

              They also will provide no proof.

              It’s a mental gymnastics floor routine.

      • Turun@feddit.de
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        9 months ago

        I can see where you are coming from.

        But my impression is that Japan has a lot of unspoken rules on how to interact with others. And unspoken social rules are the arch enemy of autism, lmao.

        • NOSin@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          They’re unspoken but far from unknown, and you will get taught and reminded about it. And autistic people very much like rules and rituals, as long as they’re clear and explicit.

      • Avalokitesha@programming.dev
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        9 months ago

        As an autist who studied Japanese and gave up when I realized I just couldn’t connect with any of the Japanese people I met - even the ones where it was obvious we wanted to be friends - I can assure you the culture is even more impenetrable for autistics. And I don’t have such issues with other autistic people usually, no matter the culture.

        Don’t mistake your stereotypes for reality and tell everyone people call you out because of political correctness. You’re just plain old wrong in this.

          • Avalokitesha@programming.dev
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            9 months ago

            Link to those studies?

            Edit: me being autistic make everything I say useless? Really?

            I really admire your ability to mental gymnastics. No matter what anybody says, you always find a way to tell them their opinion doesn’t matter. Must be nice to be so secure in your own superiority that nothing can convince you otherwise.

              • Avalokitesha@programming.dev
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                9 months ago

                If you want to convince people it’s up to you to bring the evidence. I’m not doing your work for you.

                Besides, there have been studies shoing that autistics among themselves don’t have the same communication breakdown as they do when interacting with neurotypicals. So if Japan was truly an autistic culture it should be easier for autistic people, but it’s not.

                Besides, I’m very curious to see how you are going to apply diagnostic criteria for a neurodivergence to a culture. Like, how do you even begin? Is the culture averse to bright lights? Loud sounds? Does the culture go into hyperfocus moments? Does it suffer from PDA?

                The only way you could do this is if you were to take stereotypes about how autistic people behave and try to somehow match them to cultural traits.

                • prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works
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                  9 months ago

                  Yeah this dude probably has been in the parts of the internet where that language is typical and now thinks their usage of the word applies.

                  Which explains why they just deflect when asked for literally any source for what they’re saying.

                  • yuriy@lemmy.world
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                    9 months ago

                    So far every answers but one proved me right in that regard.

                    Yeah, you very clearly think you’re the most right in every interaction. You’re being downvoted because people think you’re not only wrong, but hateful and shitty about it at the same time.

                    Rather than address the fact that you MIGHT not be the ultimate paragon of authority on every topic you grace with your presence, you’re choosing to disengage completely.

                    You don’t care about wining so hard that you’re taking your ball and going home because people disagreed with you. All you care about is discussion, and that’s why you’re completely unwilling to hear any points other than your own.

                    You’re missing the entire point that their culture is autistic, not the people. And then you’re trying to lend exclusively humans traits to a culture

                    Is calling an entire culture autustic NOT ascribing exclusively human traits to a culture? Did I miss the part in geography where entire countries can be diagnosed with HUMAN MEDICAL CONDITIONS? Rules for thee, none for me!

                    in bad faith or stupidity, your choice.

                    In your case it’s both.

              • prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works
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                9 months ago

                No it actually doesn’t.

                Please provide some form of authoritative or even scholarly source for who the “they” it’s that called it that.