• Ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    1 year ago

    To be clear, what I asked for, was that the direct contents of a DM not be shared without the other parties permission. You can absolutely summarise the contents of the discussion.

    • LeylaaLovee@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      1 year ago

      Oh boy, more of Moss starting shit. This is literally bait that doesn’t actually communicate anything, along with communicating something you never actually said. Moss, quit with the shitty bait posts and ableist slurs, you are a drama starter in your own community and it isn’t appreciated. Malicious compliance towards Ada is a dick move.

      • Moss@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOPM
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        1 year ago

        Shoot I didn’t mean to start any shit with ada. I didn’t have time for a whole write up this morning the scribbled image was all I had time to do during my commute. I think it’s coming off as a lot dickier than I meant to

        • LeylaaLovee@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          1 year ago

          Posting a blacked out screenshot and saying “Ada made me do it” is just weird. You didn’t even leave a description. All we see is that you got a DM and there are a bunch of scribbles over it, this is a nothing burger. It being pinned to the top of the community is weird. If you had posted the actual screenshot and made an actual point to what they said and didn’t use slurs that insult my child, I’d feel a tad different. But as it stands, this really feels like drama seeking behavior. There is no argument being made, it’s just directing people towards Hexbear.

          This is the kind of thing that Chapo got banned from Reddit over, the exact event that created Hexbear. If you don’t like Hexbear, that’s fine. They are generally drama starters, I don’t support defederation but I understand why it’s being talked about. But you can’t call their users slurs, provide no context to what they said, and expect anybody in what is a safe space to be okay with it. It is literally the same thing that makes us discuss defederation with Hexbear, except they don’t use slurs.

          • Moss@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOPM
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            1 year ago

            Okay couple things here, some of which are legitimate criticism, and some of which are just straight up ignoring the fact that they’ve been resolved. I’ll respond in order. One: the screenshot. Originally, I had a screenshot of the DM, with the intention of people responding to it as a sort of survey. Ada removed the post, and asked me not to post private messages, so I quickly scribbled out the DM in the 3 minutes of free time I had to check my phone and left for a good 8 hours or so. Now that I’m back, I have not had adequate time to create a write-up of what the DM said, as I’ve been too busy trying to put out the fires I inadvertently caused. I have also already unpinned the post from the community, as it was only pinned while I was deciding how to respond to the hexbear admin. Secondly, the slurs. Whether or not I should have used a word derived from a slur is besides the point, because after people corrected me I edited the post accordingly. I have already resolved this, and corrected my behavior so there’s really no reason to continue fighting about it. I’ve also never called anyone slurs! I used a semi-slur in an extreme hypothetical example of what I wasn’t saying that is used by the right as a catch-all insult for anyone slightly left of center. What you’re accusing me of I miles off the mark for what originally happened. also wtf is a chapo

            • LeylaaLovee@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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              1 year ago

              I’m more just explaining what things look like because (just like that chaser thread) this is a giant lightning rod of drama. I’m just very hurt that the 196 mod team would be okay using language that degrades my child like calling someone braindead for standing against ableism. You can’t be pissy with me for calling out disappointing behavior, I don’t see all your edits and comments at any given time. You changed things, I didn’t know that. The defed thread needs to be the end of this conversation on the instance as a whole.

              ChapoTrapHouse is a podcast. They used to have a subreddit until they were banned from Reddit. Not because they were leftists like they claim, but because they just loved starting shit with other communities. It wasn’t intentional, it was just a big community and mods made dumbass posts without thinking about it and all of a sudden threads were Chapo threads. They did the Reddit migration years before we did. I was around for when Hexbear was on Reddit, these are literally the things that got Chapo banned from Reddit and lead to the creation of Hexbear, Lemmygrad, and Lemmy.ml. We can’t bash them for their brigading while commiting the exact sins they commit that make them so difficult to federate with

          • Nakoichi [they/them]@hexbear.net
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            1 year ago

            The context is that I pointed out their ableism and the fact that the whole “tankie” thing is often leveled at non-white organizations and people striving for liberation and they removed my comments while using more ableist language in the modlog.

            I tried to be diplomatic and will still put forth that effort but wrt this Moss person, the gloves are off.

    • thedeadwalking4242@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Why? That doesnt make any sense. As soon as you post or DM anyone that is out in the world. If you cannot trust a party to not share your messages if you dont want them shared then dont send them. But it is the freedom of the individual to share what has been said to them. Summarizing muddies the water. Asking for this is grotesque.

      • Franzia@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        1 year ago

        DMs are by definition not public. Privacy is respect, and starting a discussion rsther than posting a screenshot of a DM would show that Moss respects the request. Basically, it shows tact and leadershio ability. Posting DM’s shows a skill issue.