There is this guy I like, I have reason to think he may like me too but we’re both playing dumb, or maybe I’m just imagining it all.

Yes, that’s how immature I am. Now please help me.

We’ve known each other for years and we seem to get close to each other, then we take distance, then close again, repeat, repeat, repeat.

I’m terrified of losing him as a friend for trying to be more than just that. I’ve already lost people for showing my interest and I’ve also had to burn the bridge with guys who wouldn’t give me space or kept hitting up on me repeatedly. This happens.

I would like to create a consistent, regular conversation going on. I’m afraid of overwhelming him so I don’t even know what’s a good frequency to reach out.

Personally the biggest challenge for me is finding ways to deepen our conversations. Things tend to stay pretty much on the surface most of the time, even though we can talk of almost any topic openly. Another barrier is our very different interests, we have almost no shared media in common (different music, different shows watched/liked, different videogames liked etc).

Usually when talking to other friends, conversations tend to naturally steer towards more meaningful topics. I don’t know if I’m inadvertently holding myself back with him, or if finding meaningful topics has always been a thing started by the other person and I’ve never realized it.

So, any tips?

Have you got ways to deepen conversations?

Guys, have girls ever impressed you positively and how?

Thanks

  • Snapz@lemmy.world
    18·
    2 months ago

    The nuerodivergent part suggests you’re going to just need to be direct.

    “I really enjoy our friendship, it’s important to me. I want to make sure we keep that friendship regardless, but I’ve also realized I might be developing more romantic feelings for you that I’d like to explore together - maybe you’ve had thoughts/feelings like that about me before? If not, that’s cool, I just feel better having said it to you so it’s out of my head :) but yeah, I like you and I’d like us to get dinner on an actual date date sometime and see how we both feel. What do you think?”

    Or there’s always Margaret Cho’s technique…

    • Mothra@mander.xyzOP
      61·
      2 months ago

      Ahhh fk.

      I appreciate the replies though.

      I don’t know about Margaret Cho, guess I’ll have to look it up

      • fmstrat@lemmy.nowsci.comEnglish
        2·
        2 months ago

        While I agree with this commenter’s sentiment, it goes to the “over the top” comment from PumkinEscobar. I’m a fan of PE’s method. Simple, quick, lighthearted, feels like a side-thought that’s more, which makes it easier for both parties to recover from (if needed, hopefully not).

          • Snapz@lemmy.world
            2·
            2 months ago

            You just risk staying in limbo if not direct/literal effigy IMO… All young males in general have the earned reputation of typically being oblivious of expressed female romantic advances (just search Reddit, you’ll see 300 posts speaking to this per day). On top of that general difficulty, you have the compounding factor of their atypical mental processing.

            So do what you think is right. Hope it works out for you both.