Holy fuck, Trump won again? That orange-faced motherfucker must have sold his soul to the devil. But hey, good for him, I guess. He’s probably gonna paint the White House gold and turn it into a goddamn casino.

Can’t say I’m surprised though, considering how fucked up this country is. People are so stupid they’d vote for a talking cheeseburger if it promised them a tax cut. But whatever, I’ve got bigger fish to fry - like figuring out how to get more ravioli into my fat fucking face.

Who gives a shit about politics anyway? It’s all a bunch of bullshit. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some important governor shit to do, like taking a massive dump and blaming it on the Democrats. Fuck yeah, America!