“We’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s microwave’s extended warranty.”

Dammit! I was going to make that joke! Stop proving that I’m completely unoriginal, and it’s all been done before!

Here, have an upvote.

There was an echo to these words, it was impossible to focus. “Hello, hello?” Rang in the distance. As if in some great underwater tunnel.

“I didn’t order any pizza” you respond. The voice becomes silent. Slowly a sense of panic rises. “Is this important?” The urgency in callers voice feels like a mountain of pressure squeezing you and crushing. But you have no ability to communicate, not now. Maybe not ever again.

An urgent voice enters your ear again but you cannot decipher it this time. The syllables are all over the place. A jumbled mess. Some foreign language and yet very familiar. You want to say something but only a series of sounds come out of your mouth. They make perfect sense. You just discovered a higher form of communication.

もしもし。電子レンジさんです

Apparently 電子(でんし)レンジ (electronic + cooking stove) is the term for microwave. Did not know.

Am I showing off the Japanese keyboard I have? Yes, yes I am. Do I know much Japanese? Gods no.

Chris! Is that a weed‽

Nonono that there is called a microphone.

Me not having had watched reality tv: How else would they hold the phone? Like an N-Gage? Were they taco talkin’?

…guys, remember the N-Gage???

This is ruining my night lol. WHERE IS THE DICKBUTT