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English isn’t my first language either. Also, I’m autistic, so yes, I object to being told I had a disease. Although I didn’t even feel offended because I commented in good faith just trying to clarify.
Independent of this, if you choose to talk about marginalized groups of people you should at least consider what are slurs or discriminatory/pathologizing phrases and avoid them. This way you seem just too lazy to even try.
Funny enough, just like you, I was bothered not by the meaning or intent but by the form, scolding someone for an arguable miss-use of a word without adding anything to the conversation in the form of a complaint rather than an advice or side-note was rude.
You mean I was scolding you because of the use of an angry emoji? Sorry, I meant to be angry at the use of the word not against you personally. And I did add something to the debate, namely the discussion about what words we use and how people may feel about them. Also, see the link in my previous reply.
ETA: I still have the feeling you are overly defensive for being criticized for using a derogatory expression. If you mean to tell me I should have done it in a nicer manner, than this is called tone policing, i.e. criticizing someone for how they express their critique instead of replying to the content if their critique and thus evading discussion of their own behavior.