My dog is fine, though, which is the most important thing to me. The raccoons scratched my arm kinda bad and my legs are covered in scratches. My doctor can’t be sure if the raccoons had saliva on their claws, and wants me to get rabies shots just in case. She sent me to an ER because she can’t get the shots in our area.
I’ve been at the hospital for 3 hours and haven’t been seen.
It’s after my bedtime and I have to wake up at 5am for work…
I’m not having a good time.
Luckily we offer a guillotine protection insurance policy for an affordable $85,000,000 per year. It’s optional, but the upfront cost could be $650,000,000,000 if you get caught in a guillotine without it. Just be sure to get dragged to one of our in-network guillotines.