I was diagnosed as an adult even though I knew it growing up for age since my mom said we PROBABLY were from our teachers telling her… but we were just fine and being kids so no need to intervention or medication. I got along just fine until college when I dropped out after the first year since I couldn’t coast by with great test skills and doing basic homework for high school…
Meanwhile the stepson is going through all of the above still despite getting the help once I got involved more in his life lol. His mom has it too but doesn’t medicate.
Meds and therapy do little for teenage bullshittery, boundary testing, a lack of friends, and an addiction to electronics no matter how many clear rules and strict enforcement you have.
Being a shithead teenager knows no bounds and affect neurotypical people alike lol.
Edit: Forgot why I commented in the first place. Top center and bottom right make no sense lol. Everyone knows, they just don’t know how to deal with it. Your parents are flawed humans too and spent a lifetime hearing shit from friends and society saying MY BROTHER TURNED INTO A ZOMBIE!, DOCTORS OVERMEDICATED CHILDREN AND NOW THEY AREN’T TERRORS!, RITALIN IS A FAD AND CRUTCH FOR LAAAAAZY ENTITLED NEW GENERATIONS!!!
Not only that but everyone with ADHD is so different between each other just like neurotypical people. There’s no cure all. And I know how much you motherfuckers hate yourselves, you don’t think other people don’t like you when you’re being an ass no matter the diagnosis? Of course not. Understanding how you operate doesn’t mean they get to be a doormat and it doesn’t mean you get passes every time because learning to control yourself while unmasked to your family is tantamount to forming healthy close relationships. Medicating sucks for everyone initially. Trying to get people literally going through puberty to find your miracle combo of meds is beyond difficult and it’s mostly about getting a bandaid on it until you grow into yourself and find who you want to be.
It’s not what neurodivergent kids and parents like to hear because going through it sucks, but for 95% of teens getting to adulthood is one of the quickest ways for things to settle down. Parents have a responsibility to turn you into a decent human being and MOST are trying their best in flawed ways. Most of them just want you to be able to take care of yourself and potentially hold down a job while having some of the most BASIC skills of home life. I’ve seen way too many regular teenagers, let alone neurodivergent kids turn 18 and just not be able to do a damn thing. No, you don’t like keeping your room clean, having to do dishes, not backtalk on accident when you hear something you don’t like. Nobody likes that shit lol. But it’s a skill and you have to learn through routine and constant reminders about how people are going to react.
Parents can’t just trust their kid to hit 18 and turn a leaf, because you won’t. Those sorts of routines and inherit traits are ingrained in your body like a piece of metal being forged. While you can change yourself when you get older, you’ll be surprised just how much of what you grew up with is innate to what you’re metaphorically made of. Almost ANYONE can always change at the drop of a dime though. It’s what being human is all about. It’s just hard as fuck depending on how ingrained shit is and can take a lot of effort into changing it, or acceptance in things you CANNOT change.
I got along just fine until college when I dropped out after the first year since I couldn’t coast by with great test skills and doing basic homework for high school…
Oh hell yeah. Honors student to failing out of my first year of college. Fuck. I went back years later, but that first time was a helluva wake up call.
Does your stepson have a therapist he trusts? ADHD diagnosis and medication helped with school, but finally getting the right fit with a therapist made such a huge difference with my teen’s social life and rapport with me and his dad. I know therapy can be crazy expected, but we found a person through Open Path Collective that does telehealth, and it’s much more affordable and convenient.
I hope things get easier between you all and that he realizes how much you care about him and want to help. ❤️ Teens can be so difficult but so fucking cool, it’s such a privilege to watch them develop as people.
I was diagnosed as an adult even though I knew it growing up for age since my mom said we PROBABLY were from our teachers telling her… but we were just fine and being kids so no need to intervention or medication. I got along just fine until college when I dropped out after the first year since I couldn’t coast by with great test skills and doing basic homework for high school…
Meanwhile the stepson is going through all of the above still despite getting the help once I got involved more in his life lol. His mom has it too but doesn’t medicate.
Meds and therapy do little for teenage bullshittery, boundary testing, a lack of friends, and an addiction to electronics no matter how many clear rules and strict enforcement you have.
Being a shithead teenager knows no bounds and affect neurotypical people alike lol.
Edit: Forgot why I commented in the first place. Top center and bottom right make no sense lol. Everyone knows, they just don’t know how to deal with it. Your parents are flawed humans too and spent a lifetime hearing shit from friends and society saying MY BROTHER TURNED INTO A ZOMBIE!, DOCTORS OVERMEDICATED CHILDREN AND NOW THEY AREN’T TERRORS!, RITALIN IS A FAD AND CRUTCH FOR LAAAAAZY ENTITLED NEW GENERATIONS!!!
Not only that but everyone with ADHD is so different between each other just like neurotypical people. There’s no cure all. And I know how much you motherfuckers hate yourselves, you don’t think other people don’t like you when you’re being an ass no matter the diagnosis? Of course not. Understanding how you operate doesn’t mean they get to be a doormat and it doesn’t mean you get passes every time because learning to control yourself while unmasked to your family is tantamount to forming healthy close relationships. Medicating sucks for everyone initially. Trying to get people literally going through puberty to find your miracle combo of meds is beyond difficult and it’s mostly about getting a bandaid on it until you grow into yourself and find who you want to be.
It’s not what neurodivergent kids and parents like to hear because going through it sucks, but for 95% of teens getting to adulthood is one of the quickest ways for things to settle down. Parents have a responsibility to turn you into a decent human being and MOST are trying their best in flawed ways. Most of them just want you to be able to take care of yourself and potentially hold down a job while having some of the most BASIC skills of home life. I’ve seen way too many regular teenagers, let alone neurodivergent kids turn 18 and just not be able to do a damn thing. No, you don’t like keeping your room clean, having to do dishes, not backtalk on accident when you hear something you don’t like. Nobody likes that shit lol. But it’s a skill and you have to learn through routine and constant reminders about how people are going to react.
Parents can’t just trust their kid to hit 18 and turn a leaf, because you won’t. Those sorts of routines and inherit traits are ingrained in your body like a piece of metal being forged. While you can change yourself when you get older, you’ll be surprised just how much of what you grew up with is innate to what you’re metaphorically made of. Almost ANYONE can always change at the drop of a dime though. It’s what being human is all about. It’s just hard as fuck depending on how ingrained shit is and can take a lot of effort into changing it, or acceptance in things you CANNOT change.
Oh hell yeah. Honors student to failing out of my first year of college. Fuck. I went back years later, but that first time was a helluva wake up call.
Does your stepson have a therapist he trusts? ADHD diagnosis and medication helped with school, but finally getting the right fit with a therapist made such a huge difference with my teen’s social life and rapport with me and his dad. I know therapy can be crazy expected, but we found a person through Open Path Collective that does telehealth, and it’s much more affordable and convenient.
I hope things get easier between you all and that he realizes how much you care about him and want to help. ❤️ Teens can be so difficult but so fucking cool, it’s such a privilege to watch them develop as people.