I finally tried licking one recently, and it didn’t taste like anything

My girlfriend had computer RAM in her purse. That is now why she is my wife.

Through my mental fog lies a Souls boss waiting to destroy all who attempt to enter (including me).

Me the second I read this: FUCK. THAT. 😠

The last lending library I saw had some religious discs placed inside them. Expected them to be of the usual Christian variety. Oddly enough, it was actually of some rabbi.

I was under the impression that Judaism wasn’t about proselytising. 🤷

Sounds like this brand name needs a new start.

A NEW START… Hmm…

I got it!

ANUSTART!

Awww…She looks just like you!

Just before the pandemic, I was at a restaurant. A couple was sitting next to me.

Woman: (Says something about Fiona)

Man: Who’s Fiona?

Woman: (Shocked, disgusted face) You don’t KNOW Fiona???

I bet she broke up with him on the spot.

Years ago, a family member (who was on my mobile phone family account) was getting charged monthly for some mobile game. I would point it out every month, and they were like “Yeah…I need to cancel that…”

It took over a year for them to get around to canceling it.

All that fancy hardware in the pro, and only a handful of games will actually be “enhanced”. Otherwise, it “may stabilize or improve the performance of supported PS4 and PS5 games.”

Seems kind of a waste to me.

Earlier this week, YouTube for Android TV had an update that caused it to crash at startup.

On a hot steak there, Google…

I want this.

I went to an all-boys Catholic highschool. I had a teacher that was a Christian Brother. One day he had an argument with a classmate over how effective condoms were. He basically argued that condoms don’t work. (Even arguing that a Ziploc bag couldn’t keep semen from escaping.)

This teacher was pretty popular because he was a character, who’d sometimes make crude jokes.

After graduating, some friends and a I ran into him at a mall. He asked us “What are you guys up to? Picking up little girls?”

We laughed it off thinking he was still his same old jovial self.

Not long after, I heard that this same teacher had been arrested for being involved with minors. His “joke” that day seemed like some major projection.

I recently started using an app called Hermit to address a similar problem. It lets you create “lite apps” from any URL. Maybe it’d work for you?

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.chimbori.hermitcrab

Women are so cute and beautiful but I think they are talking about getting their horse in a koozie

We have a 2012 Ford Fiesta that we call “Siesta”. That car sucks a good amount. Been meaning to get rid of it for years now.

Change the dog to me, and replace the leash with a lawn mower.

Now to stick him in the closet until winter

One star off because the doctor is the one who hit them with a Mercedes

I eat a spoonful of peanut butter on a daily basis. It’s the best.