room_raccoon

It’s dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

Aww

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God, none of it matters. You’ll always have one dickhead or another in office. Losing sleep over who is president is nuts to me. We’re in dystopian times now. Just don’t think about it

This is fascinating. How does she paint her art? Healing folks with my own secretions is for the birds. I still wouldn’t want to become a giant snail

What happened to snail lady? Is she okay now? Is she still a snail? I don’t want to become a snail

And for the nausea, have a few sips of pickle juice. I swear it works. It works so well for me, at least

Is this the Japanese banana fanna bo banna or something?

Lockpicking is a fun hobby

When I saw it, it was a mermaid and the male engineer guy was trying to save her. Am I in a Mandela effect right now?

I liked your story, if that means anything

Yes, thank you! That was my sentiment, exactly

A television screen you can turn on and off without the remote. A mobile phone that has buttons on the back. A magic stick that can send my husband to the cornfield when he won’t leave me alone.

I can’t remember

I would say, “It’s green. Haven’t you seen green before? You don’t know what green is?”

My cat goes out to get coffee and breakfast on the weekends. I think that’s a little bit cooler than all of you guys’ tricks

I’m pretty sure that’s the default kitty behaviour

It’s not even just drunk. I have bad anxiety and it’s not usually worth it to hang out with people. I just always dwell on it and wonder how weird I seemed or something from the anxiety. It takes all the fun out of it

It’s not really weird to want temporary bird aquarium windows in your house. That’s ingenious. I think I’d love that

I think stay home and get drunk by yourself. It’s the only way to guarantee you won’t say something slightly embarrassing and then dwell on it for the next week