Trying to gauge if I’m going crazy or a little too much “online.”
I currently live in Texas, and moving has been on my mind a lot lately as the Republican party and Texas itself seems to be slowly moving toward fascism. I don’t know when the slide toward fascism will stop, and how much more authoritarian the state will get. I do not feel very good about my tax dollars going to support this state.
I am a middle-aged cishet white man; middle to upper middle class software engineer. I have leftist opinions (libsoc/ansoc), but I’m not an activist (I am very introverted, probably a little bit on the autism spectrum, and pretty much a hermit right now). I do seldom indulge in marijuana consumption, which is illegal here.
I really don’t have much tying me down here. I have no close friends, no family in the state, and no current romantic partners. Last year, I moved within the state for a job, but the company was bought out, and everyone was layed off. I have very high autonomy at my current job, and could probably work fully remote if I wanted. Moving would be expensive (I am in an upside-down mortgage), but I have enough savings to take the hit.
I am personally feeling very isolated here (Texas suburb), at this point in my life, and am thinking about moving into some sort of intentional community (eco-village, cohousing, or land trust; not a commune) in a blue state (or even in Canada if I could pull that off).
Also, the weather in the last 2 years has been absolutely oppressive, and I have a hard time keeping anything alive in my veggie garden :)
Am I being over dramatic? Should I just stick it out here, and try to rebuild my life in a state that doesn’t align with my beliefs?
Also, I’ve heard arguments that libs should stay or even move to red states, but I’m not convinced. The state rules with an iron fist, and pre-empts anything progressive Texas cities try to do. And the district I live in is already pretty solidly blue. Not to mention, red states put families that contain females or lbgt people in danger.
You seem to not be enjoying your current situation anyway so I’d vote for a change. We are all very small fish in a big sea when it comes to changing states whereas you can make a big change in your own life.
You can only choose what’s right for you. I’ve often said that if I was able to work remotely with a high paying job that I would buy a big house in a small town.
This is something that I think about often. There is an argument that progressives should try to stay and change things for the better where they are. I think to some extent, though, that only works if everyone is operating in good faith. The government there is essentially conducting a full assault on any progressive measures. Just recently, Texas passed a law that automatically overrules any city ordinances that they dont like. More progressive cities like Austin can try to pass laws to protect tenants or workers, but it won’t do anything. It’s hard to make a positive impact in those circumstances. You also have to balance out the fact that by living there X% of your paycheck will go to that govt via property/sales tax.
On the other hand, where do you move to? There are lots of communities with skyrocketing real estate prices that they blame on remote workers (not sure how legitimate that is), so people are getting priced out of the communities they’ve been in for ages.
In the end, I think it’s impossible to make a complete moral determination either way. The only thing you can do is just try your best at whatever you do. Whatever you do, I’d definitely recommend trying to build a community wherever you are. You might not be able to get the local laws around you to reflect your values, but you can do your best to help those around you.
There’s plenty of things going on in Texas that affect everyone. The biggest one in my opinion is the horrible electric grid and refusal to connect to the rest of the nation.
True, I was without electricity, heat, and water for about a week a few years ago.
Gotta go with what works for you. But as a fellow cishet middle-aged white engineer, you could not pay me enough money for me to want to move to Texas. Or Florida. Or most of the middle of the country. If I were in your shoes, I’d be out as soon as I had the means to leave.
Isn’t the weather alone enough of an argument against TX or FL? What will it be like there in 10 or 20 years?
I mean, I’m a fuckin’ weirdo who loves both heat and humidity. So I’m not really the target audience for that particular argument. But I get that I’m a weirdo, and most people don’t like living in the desert or a swamp. Personally, I’m much more turned off by their politics than I am their weather.
I just moved from NC to the Pacific Northwest for very similar reasons. Remote work in tech and no close family ties back in NC. My partner and I moved here a few months ago and while the cost of living is definitely an adjustment, it has been a positive change in every other way. The weather is great and the people are wonderful. I no longer get nervous or anxious going out in public. I actually enjoy restaurants and farmers markets here. You only get one life. Be happy.
Since you have the means and nothing to tie you down, I’d say go for it. It would be interesting to try living somewhere different. You only have so many years to experience life. Any sort of rural area further North should still be affordable and be kinder to your vegetable garden.
agree with what everyone else has said here. worry less about “should” and go find your tribe wherever it may be.
as i once said to a friend who contemplated the same kind of move years ago, if it doesn’t work out you can always move back. not like it’s a one way street.
The states are not liberal or conservative, it’s the fraction of rural/suburban to urban areas. It’s extremely rare to find a left leaning rural population and similarly difficult to find a very right urban one. Find a place that suites you, but keep in mind your hood’s politics will largely be controlled by population density https://engaging-data.com/election-population-density/
Yeah, I know. I grew up in a very rural area, and now live in a major metro area. It’s not so much the people in my area that I have a problem with, it’s the state government. I’ve met plenty of like-minded people in my area, and most have been contemplating moving out of state as well, lol. I’m trying to figure out where I want to set down roots at, and right now it seems like a gamble that Texas won’t become more authoritarian in ways that negatively affect me as time goes on. Even current legislation could negatively affect me if my life circumstances change.
Try a Midwest swing state! I live in a backwoods town in PA, and although there’s not much of a chance of a Dem winning a local election, we have enough major cities to keep fascism out of the State law.
I might be very wrong, but I wouldn’t be against Texas and Florida leaving and starting their own countries. Let all the boot licking racists go live happily together far away from me.
Recreational marijuana is illegal in PA. I’ve kinda been using recreational marijuana laws as a litmus test on how authoritarian a state is. Also, I do sometimes use marijuana, and don’t want to go to jail. I’ve had a few close-calls here in Texas (once, the cops just stole my weed). Been looking at rural NY as a possibility. I may visit some intentional communities there soon.
Very true. There is a lot of talk about changing that in Harrisburg, so hopefully it won’t take long. Michigan and New York are close legal options.
If you have to ask, it might be best if you move. But you’d most likely fall into the same habits and become isolated again. Have you tried joining a club or something?
I left Texas many years ago and you couldn’t pay me enough to move back. Get out. Go experience other communities, cultures, and locations. Go somewhere where any future romantic partners have actual human rights and healthcare. Go somewhere that doesn’t have a state flag as part of its identity. It will be an adjustment, but change can be good.
I made the move 15 years ago.
I’m certainly glad to be in a society that isn’t hostile to females, LGBTQ, etc.
Does it affect my day-to-day? Eh, probably not. I certainly could live in a regressive state without any personal risk or penalty.
I was born and raised in Texas and left over a decade ago for all the reasons you mentioned. I do think Texas will eventually turn purple. The Republicans are going more fascist because they know this too and are having to get even more aggressive to try and stop it.
I simply refuse to live in a red state. Only negative is a higher cost of living esp housing where I landed and further from family. But I feel more at home even tho I’m not where I was born.
Texas population is purple, we just need more people to vote. My work and social circle are 85% blue and 15% moderate red. You’re going to find people who agree and disagree with you in any situation and that’s how it should be. You have to do what’s right for you, but wherever you are, vote and encourage people around you to vote. That’s the only way anything gets better.
“people who […] disagree with you and that’s how it should be” I mean… except for human rights. Like there’s a ton of crap that no decent human should agree with going on in states like Texas, Florida, and more. Some of that is inexcusable, even if the person is uneducated and easier that way. Plenty of knowledge freely available on the internet. Many of the social positions of conservatives simply cannot be excused, even as a “we need differing opinions”
Yup it’s getting harder and harder to have that conversation. Like the video posted yesterday of the guy who went to a Trump rally, had civilized conversations with some of the people there, and found out they mostly had the same thoughts the the left had (i.e. the rich shouldn’t be as rich as they are, we’re living in an oligarchy, everything shouldn’t be owned by 6 big corporations, etc.). That’s nice and all, but at the end of the day, who are these people voting?
Therein lies the question. Stay and fight the good fight, get out while the getting is good, or ignore the sensational headlines because overall most of these people are actually pretty nice besides their hard coded habit to vote R.
I don’t care if you’re hard coded to vote against human rights. That’s an automatic bad person. Period. All Republicans Are Bastards. They let the worst of them rise to power and they pass horrendous laws in their states. It’s just inexcusable at this point. Like, the only people I feel that want to have “the conversation” are folks who want to keep voting Republican for whatever reason. I’ve failed to ever hear a good argument, even a fiscally conservative one at this point. The financial imbalance alone is the root of most economic downturn at this point. And honestly, the fiscal argument doesn’t outweigh basic human rights. No “good” person votes republican at this point. They just can’t accept theyre the bad guys and instead of switching sides, just declaring “nah, let’s ruin more lives instead. They’re the problem.” Many of their tentpole issues are rooted in hating someone else. Republicans are just not good people. Period. I just don’t buy it. You can’t justify voting against human rights.
Think Hank Hill, not Tucker. I don’t disagree with you and have a very hard time reconciling the fact that these otherwise kind decent folks continue to vote R. I think a ton of them are just disengaged voting by muscle memory, misled by faux news, and figure it is politics as usual.
You should review the thread title and re read the OP’s question. If you get off the internet and go outside and talk to people you see it’s actually quite nice out there for the most part. So should you uproot your life to get while the getting is good, stick around and tough it out, or what? It’s nowhere near as simple as you make it seem.
I just said do whatever is best for their mental health. And don’t get me wrong, what’s going on is great for some people. But it’s hell for others. Glossing over that might make you feel ok or whatever, but ignoring it and the fact Republicans likely have passed bills that have no social benefit but will likely cause people to die, whether by their own hand or shitty medical practices, is 100% not possible.
Don’t downplay the hardships others face because it doesn’t specifically affect you. It’s kind of gross and not at all as enlightened as you’re trying to sound.
Whatever
Honestly in all this it’s easy to forget about the simple things. Does living where you are make you happy? Florida is likely imploding at present as the draconian laws being dredged out are going to cause issues. Notible ones. Republicans are basically cutting off their own noses to spite their face to make their supposed utopia and the logistical problems are mounting meaning a greater degree of cognitive dissonance will be required to maintain enthusiasm.
There are people who are having to flee because they can’t be healthy there. You are not an exception to this. If you can’t be healthy where you are then being beholden to the gridlock of politics is affecting you in a way that is not ethical. Yes, we trans folks and people affected by abortion bans need allies. But we can’t fault people for their choices to leave because they are unhappy for the same reasons we are.
Epicurean ethics run the trans movement. At it’s core is this set of principles : you, like every other living thing are in the right to seek the circumstances under which you best flourish. Minimizing the pain experienced, your own and that of others is ethical. Avoiding pain is not an unethical choice.
Whether it’s denying their government tax revenue or staying so you can lend your voice to the movements you believe in it all might come out in the wash in the broader sense of politics - but you also deserve kindness.
