Feddit
  • Communities
  • Create Post
  • Create Community
  • heart
    Support Lemmy
  • search
    Search
  • Login
  • Sign Up
cm0002@lemmy.world to Not The Onion@lemmy.worldEnglish · 6 个月前

Alabama baby born at Krispy Kreme awarded year’s supply of free doughnuts

www.theguardian.com

external-link
message-square
24
link
fedilink
196
external-link

Alabama baby born at Krispy Kreme awarded year’s supply of free doughnuts

www.theguardian.com

cm0002@lemmy.world to Not The Onion@lemmy.worldEnglish · 6 个月前
message-square
24
link
fedilink
Sha’Nya Bennett, 23, gave birth to son Dallas in parking lot of doughnut chain during historic snowstorm
alert-triangle
You must log in or register to comment.
  • jet@hackertalks.com
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    42
    ·
    6 个月前

    How many donuts could a baby eat in one year? Not that many. Five?

    • FooBarrington@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      12
      ·
      6 个月前

      They can’t know whether the baby actually eats them. The baby could be buying them for their parents, after all.

  • DominusOfMegadeus@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    35
    ·
    6 个月前

    Hurray for childhood obesity!

    • wabafee@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      6 个月前

      deleted by creator

  • reversedposterior@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    19
    ·
    6 个月前

    Since nobody seems to have read the article:

    Following the unusual birth, Krispy Kreme has offered Dallas, and, more pertinently, his family free doughnuts for a year and will throw Dallas a birthday party every year until he’s an adult.

    • jagged_circle@feddit.nl
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      edit-2
      6 个月前

      Das gonna be a fat baby

  • ThePowerOfGeek@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    18
    ·
    6 个月前

    Put those donuts in a blender, pop the results in a bottle, and the baby will have a full belly. And probably diabetes by the age of 1. But I get the feeling that’s not too uncommon in Alabama.

    • bizarroland@fedia.io
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      9
      ·
      6 个月前

      My good grandma yelled at my mother for putting Coca-Cola in a sippy cup for me.

      This is a common quaint anecdote for most people raised in Alabama.

      • bizarroland@fedia.io
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        11
        ·
        6 个月前

        And before you ask, yes, I do have an evil grandmother. Fortunately, she’s dead.

  • pastermil@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    10
    ·
    6 个月前

    Just a year?

    Fucking cheapskate!

  • eran_morad@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    9
    ·
    6 个月前

    Beetus

    • weew@lemmy.ca
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      6
      ·
      6 个月前

      Babeetus

      • intensely_human@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        6 个月前

        Diet Beetus

  • booly@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    8
    ·
    6 个月前

    …starting in a future year, right?

    • intensely_human@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      6 个月前

      It’s 2025. Every year is a future year these days

  • katy ✨@lemmy.blahaj.zone
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    6
    ·
    6 个月前

    Hasn’t the baby suffered enough?

  • paraphrand@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    6
    ·
    6 个月前

    What does the FDA consider a year supply when it comes to doughnuts? Or similar group.

    I’m thinking if we wanted to be scientific and we’re stocking up a bunker, and wanted to make sure our doughnut supply was appropriate for Alabama standards.

    • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 🏆@yiffit.net
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      4
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      6 个月前

      When it comes to these things of free X for a year/life, it’s like 1 free thing, per month. So more than likely, this is 1 dozen doughnuts for free; but you can’t get the whole dozen all at once. You get 1 doughnut per month for 12 months.

      • RisingSwell@lemmy.dbzer0.com
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        7
        ·
        6 个月前

        I would expect this to be a donut a day, or equivalent.

    • intensely_human@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      2
      ·
      6 个月前

      2000 calories worth of donuts x 365

  • TammyTobacco@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    4
    ·
    6 个月前

    It’s still the healthiest child in Alabama

  • edric@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    3
    ·
    edit-2
    2 个月前

    deleted by creator

  • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    3
    ·
    6 个月前

    But…for the next year that number of consumed donuts should be 0.

    Wow. I remember when I was a kid, and the NES came out, and I was amazed. Then the SNES came out, and everything improved. Then the N64 came out and my jaw hit the floor.

    I said “Wow! Can you IMAGINE what life will be like when I’m old???”

    Well. Old me checking in. The future is dumb. I hate it. Please take me back to the late 80s right now.

    • Tarquinn2049@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      6
      ·
      edit-2
      6 个月前

      If you want it to feel like early Nintendo again, the place to look is VR now. Over the last 10 years, it has been an exciting growth pace to watch. And co-incidentally, some of my favorite stuff to do in VR is play Nintendo games in 3D.

  • Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    2
    ·
    6 个月前

    You okay, Gulf Coast?

  • esc27@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    1
    ·
    6 个月前

    deleted by creator

  • TokenBoomer@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    2
    arrow-down
    3
    ·
    6 个月前

    KK about to be glazed

Not The Onion@lemmy.world

nottheonion@lemmy.world

Subscribe from Remote Instance

Create a post
You are not logged in. However you can subscribe from another Fediverse account, for example Lemmy or Mastodon. To do this, paste the following into the search field of your instance: !nottheonion@lemmy.world

Welcome

We’re not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from…
  2. …credible sources, with…
  3. …their original headlines, that…
  4. …would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

Visibility: Public
globe

This community can be federated to other instances and be posted/commented in by their users.

  • 1.28K users / day
  • 1.77K users / week
  • 2.41K users / month
  • 10.5K users / 6 months
  • 2 local subscribers
  • 15.1K subscribers
  • 432 Posts
  • 9.22K Comments
  • Modlog
  • mods:
  • kescusay@lemmy.world
  • BE: 0.19.11
  • Modlog
  • Instances
  • Docs
  • Code
  • join-lemmy.org