If I’d had to bet whether this was The Onion before clicking this link, someone would be breaking my knees next week.
This timeline is absurd.
Instead of wordle, we need onionle
People really do end up with the face they deserve.
No, his is far too unbruised, his nose isn’t broken, and he appears to have all of his teeth.
Oh the irony
I had an uncle that had a problem with leaking. Ended up just having to wear a diaper everywhere.
Your uncle is Donald Trump?
If he had the right plumbing then a zip tie would have also worked.
Everything this dipshit says should be on Facebook
“There are a bunch of things that I think are value-destroying for me to talk about, so I’m not going to talk about those…”
Well have you thought about not being a piece of shit 😂
Like, isn’t that an admission that your business has no value?
Now that’s an amazing headline.
Imagine being worth 229 billion, and you look like that.
This realities Bond villains are so pathetic looking.
He’s no Hank Scorpio, I’ll tell you that.
Drugs and lack of sleep does that to you.
Drugs and sleep have no effect on cyborgs
he could at least find a better haircut than pube fro.
It’s an improvement over his last haircut. He looks like he actually goes outside sometimes now, too.
He was going for Roman Emperor with the last one, but he neglected to consider the shape of his head. I really don’t know what haircut would look good with his strangely shaped face/head.
This look feels like the opening sequences of Dazed & Confused.
I have the same hair and it’s fucking impossible
It dries and frizzes immediately. If you don’t have time to care for it daily, it inevitably looks like this.
this isn’t some schmoe like you or me, he’s a billionaire. he can afford a daily stylist, or at least before conference calls.
It’s ok not to spend time and money on looks. No matter how much money you have. There’s no obligation to look good for anyone. The way he looks is not the problem with him.
of course it’s not “the” problem with him, we are clearly circlejerking here.
and i’d say as the founder/ceo/face of a company you do owe it to the company, including the employees, to look presentable.
“I don’t like it when people find out what I really think”
Seriously. If everything I said leaked to billions of people, I’d be a comedic phenomenon, a trendsetter, and a terrorist.
a terrorist.
and remember folks… there was a time when boomers thought that the Patriot Act was for scary Muslim extremism…
welcome to 2025 where a middle age cuck is getting put on lists for voicing an opinion online.
… You’re on what list?
- says a lizard person
deleted by creator
That’s what it feels like when you steal other people’s personal information …
To be fair, if it’s personal and you don’t want it out there, don’t put it on anything on the internet.
Meta goes far beyond simply scraping data you consciously send to them.
If only that feeling could be cranked up for him x 3 billion.
Is that dude turning orange?
Symptom of fascism
No he had his face stuck to Trump ass and some it transferred to Zuck.
Considering trumps orange is sprayon…that tracks.
he’s got “ring around the nostrils”
His hyu-man skin is melting.
He’s clearly trying to make himself seem more appealing to the orange man in DC.
There’s enough reason to shit on him without this. He just looks like a ginger who’s spent too much time (15 minutes) in direct sunlight without slathering sunscreen on his face first.
If I had as much money as Zuck, I’d have a full body sunscreen applicator installed in my beach house so I just stand there for a second and get my sunscreen.
They’re all orange down here, Georgie…
I’m a pacifist hippy tech worker, and I would gladly draw a paycheck from Raytheon long before I even consider applying to Facebook or Twitter.
Raytheon is putting “more value into the world” than these shitheads.
“Would you like your evil done in the traditional overt bombs-dropped-on-children fashion, or the new we’ll-sell-your-entire-life-to-the-highest-bidder-while-feeding-you-non-stop-lies-to-establish-a-fascist-regime style, sir?”
This guy: Bomb some kids, at least it’s a spectacle.
(Edit for clarification: I think both are bad, and one has a strong causal relationship with the other but I am not sure I would pick Raytheon personally. It’s a bit too overtly evil for my tastes)
At least they are environmentally conscious, unlike Facebook
I refuse to believe that tweet is real on principal, but it’s just tone deaf enough to have me question whether this might have actually been shat out by a corporate marketing team as part of some greenwashing effort.
If this is someone memeing however: Kudos, this one is very convincing despite being wildly ridiculous.
It is satire, but they have a tweet on a environmentally friendly radar searchable on Google and a https://rtx.com/our-responsibility/sustainable-operations page so even if fake, it’s not that far-fetched
One way to avoid recurrent leaks is to foster a culture of trust and not be a ginormous dickwad.
Sounds like lady shit
zuck the fuck is worth approx 229billion.
a 25mil fine is 0.01% of his net worth.
If your average yearly salary is 30,000, thats like paying a fine of 3
00.edit math hard thank you @MrScottyTay@sh.itjust.works
ZuckFuck doesn’t make his net worth each year. So let’s compare it against US citizen net worth. I have stats from 2022
Average American new worth is ~$1,050,000 Median American net worth is ~$192,000
I hate zuck as much as you but it’s important to be accurate and fair as possible when comparing statistics.
So it’s like a fine of $19 if using median and $105 if using average. Still peanuts for a fine
300 would be 1% wouldn’t it? It’d be like paying a fine of 3
So he cares slightly more than when I go to the grocery store but forget my reusable bags
🤦♀️ yes
One cool thing about these leaks is: if you weren’t saying batshit crazy stuff, no one would care.
Zuckerburg says “Today I ate a sandwich!”
Nobody cares.
But wait…the full quote was “Today I ate a sandwich…of babys!”
the thing is he thinks he knows better than the rest of us. because he’s a billionaire.
