- only you know
- zombie type is up to you
Assuming they’re the type of zombie with no viable circulatory system to help stay warm, I’d relocate up to the Arctic for a while.
Buy a shotgun. Shoot myself. 😆
Oh, and get drunk.
Have two days of just absolute living it the absolute fuck up.
And buy a bottle of nitrogen and a non-rebreather mask.
Realistically the military will eventually clear everything, I just have to survive the weeks it would probably take.
Id buy a bunch of shelf stable food, a wood burner, bunch of lumber for barricading, nails, portable batteries for keeping out phones charged, a big battery for the router (even when thr power is down, internet isnt), guns. A bunch of bottled water too. A bunch of hand sanitizer too to clean out hands constantly if needed
I think thats all I’d need to sit this out. I think the hardest part would be convincing family that theres gonna be a zombie Apocalypse
We going camping Boyz!
You only have 2 days before news finds out anyway. You can convince them somehow.
Go online.
Research how many sleeping pills it takes to die.
Go out and buy them.
Spend time doing things I enjoy with people I like.
Crush the pills up into a drink and pound it.
Go to sleep.
Life’s already hard. I don’t need to live in a post-apocalyptic world.
My plan would be “go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over”
“Two pints and a packet of crisps please love”
Hey, that’s the same plan I have for my next date.
Sounds like a slice of fried gold
Dogs can’t look up!
“Yeah boiiiiiii”
Stock up, stay inside, and wait for the zombies to die from either dehydration or starvation.
Go shopping. Enough to last for a couple of months. Bring some water, as well. Buy some lumber to reinforce the doors. A few steel panels to close off a few strategic places. Raid the library.
Wait a month and allow flies and the weather do their thing.
See the not-so-dead fall apart.
After I stop seeing movement for three straight days, start blasting noise on a high visibility location from my location and wait to see what crawls out.
By this time, I risk two months have already elapsed.
Go out, with a shovel and an axe.
Dig a large pit, fill it with fire wood. Lay down a few of the corpses. Stack it as high as I can make it. Cover with more fire wood.
Syphon some diesel from a random car.
Light it up!
Rinse, repeat, until all the corpses I can find are disposed of, grouping together all the survivors I come across.
Start over.
I recommend buying potatoes. Not for eating, but for planting. Preferably before you lock yourself in for a few months. And along with it, a book on how to farm your own vegies from the library.
Potatoes are great. Low maintenance crop but it does require a lot of water. Sunchokes are a good option as well, for an Autumn harvest; keeps well in the ground. Down side is the winds.
I’d recommend getting some broad leaf vegetables seeds, like cabbage. My country has a variety that can be harvested leaf by leaf and just keeps growing and producing seeds, year after year. Some turnips, too. And some tomatoes and chillies. And beans.
What variety of cabbage is this? What zone does it grow in? Thanks!
Thank you! It reminds me of the dinosaur kale I have in my garden now. Also able to pick leaves as you need them, and overwinters here well (BC, Canada). I’ll do some more looking into it!
Can you give a link for that variety? Just the name is enough to get me curious.
Its real name is Lacinato kale, it’s my favourite!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lacinato_kale
Edit: I like to use this in place of spinach, in lasagnas, soups, salads. Nettles are another favourite. I forage in the spring, steam them to get rid of the sting, and then freeze them in balls. Then I just add a ball to soups or whatever when I need. Also can save the steaming water for stocks.
Get black market explosives so I can blow up my brains and don’t risk becoming a zombie.
I live near a number of gun stores, because America, and I have a realistic understanding of my capabilities. Now I’m not saying that I’m going to use the gun on myself, but the truth is I only really need to buy one bullet.
#1: Cardio
Can i get cardio in two days? This changes everything.
Lol. I’m screwed. My asthma makes any sort of cardio impossible after 5 minutes.
Yeah I recommend rolling the Too Swole To Control perk. Sounds like you refuse to do cardio. /s obvs
That’ll do pig. That’ll do.
Probably procrastinate for 48hrs.
Hole up in Costco for two weeks or so.
The rotting corpses who only hunger for flesh are going to be eaten by animals and bugs. Because they don’t have regular ways to maintain water balance for muscles they will atrophy and become immobile. They will pretty much be a non threat while I have plenty of food and shelter to last me.
Many of the more modern and realistic takes have it caused by an organism that’s gone endemic. Meaning anything or anybody that dies changes, regardless of if they were bitten. This provides a constant source of new zombies. In addition to the fact that other survivors are usually a bigger threat than the zombies themselves.
I remember Neil DeGrasse Tyson explaining away zombies. Really took the immersion out of any zombie movies. Basically what you said, but more of it.
The power grid is usually one of the first things to go during a zombie apocalypse. Only the shelf stable food will be usable after a few days. That being said, there’s plenty of space in the warehouse to hole up.
Living on an upper floor comes in handy for once, as it’s actually fairly easy to barricade the front door. Alert some key close friends and family members who will actually believe me. Then stock up on canned goods, fill every possible thing I can with water, and grab some camping solar kits for power once the grid goes down.
After that? Hunker down. Avoid being clearly seen in windows or heard to prevent attracting the undead. I reckon I need to last about 6-9 weeks.
See, the thing is, zombies are going to die out. The average human can go 3 days without water and 3 weeks without food. Let’s assume zombies have a magical lack of need of hydration, so they last 3 weeks. Double that for the time they’ll have ample food. Assume another 3 weeks that they’ll cannibalize each other or something.
At that point, I can begin to venture outside. Small numbers of capable zombies may still exist, but most will be dead or starving. Other survivors are my greatest worry.
I didn’t think zombies needed food or water or that they would “die”. Isn’t the point that they are already dead?
Depends on the zombie lore we are going with. Traditionally, yes but this could a rabies variation so they are hydrophobic. You don’t want the Office Uprising variant where they are still somewhat in control.
other survivors
Have you seen/read the walking dead? Other survivors the concern.
I haven’t, but there’s ample stories which present more or less the same point.
Other survivors are my greatest worry.
You should have kept reading 😆
Oops. I had a typo. I meant other survivors are the only concern. Even if the zombies aren’t atrophied and withering, other people are the main concern.
That’s exactly what they’re saying in their comment. Other survivors are their greatest worry.
I was agreeing.
Dude your mom’s my biggest concern
Probably kill myself
If you can’t beat the endless waves of undead may as well join them.
First put on the silliest outfit you can think of.
I mean yeah it would suck but why not at least run for the hills get a cutesy air bnb cabin and max out your credit cards on food and ammo?
I guess the better question is: why? To what end? Live out some doomer prepper fantasy? The world would be right fucked and you’d be out in the middle of nowhere by yourself which you could do right now without the zombies.
I mean I get that but with solar panels and some MacBooks you could have a good amount of time playing games with friends and fishing. No bills, no job job. Heck I don’t even like fish, or any seafood, but it wouldn’t have to be bad bad. Like it’s not my fantasy per se, I would miss civilization, but it sure beats death and in some ways beats capitalism.
That’s a really good question. I know “zombie apocalypse” isn’t well defined, but it usually indicates a complete and total destruction of society. Even once the zombies are gone, there’s no civilization to return to. It’s not like a hurricane, where people start to rebuild.
Considering the post-post-apocalypse, I’m not sure it’s a world I would want to be part of.
Good questions. I don’t understand why some people are absolutely determined to suffer as much as possible and “live” through the inevitable hellscape that would follow the collapse of society. Just face reality and end it quickly.
Some of us decided long ago to spite life.
I mean, you could try, but eventually someone will find you, probably arrest you, and tear down your home
A cabin in the woods when there’s zombies out there? You’d never sleep! I’d take my chances trying to find a compound.
